The Greatest Love of All: Review of Whitney

Whitney

Director: Kevin MacDonald

By Alex Watson

We have seen the plight of the supremely talented female singer in documentaries before, but Kevin MacDonald's Whitney packs a heavy emotional punch. Bursting onto the scene in the late 80's, Whitney Houston seemed destined for a long prosperous career. This movie goes deep and shows that underneath the powerful Ballard's lay a deeply troubled soul whose descent into drug and alcohol addiction broke many hearts worldwide.

Starting with the bright and bouncy sounds of 'How Will I Know' the early part of Whitney pops with colour. Few singers have become such a sensation in a short period of time and MacDonald expertly captures the euphoria that surrounded Houston's early career. Her music is set against images of events such as the Gulf War and her beginnings in music were a particularly patriotic time for the nation. Her belting rendition of 'The Star-Spangled Banner' at the 1991 SuperBowl still gives us goosebumps and we tend to forget how her country embraced her as an All-American symbol. While there is a light and breezy feel which demonstrates the early optimism and confidence of Houston, MacDonald is unafraid to delve into the dark depths of her past which reveal telltales signs of the problems that would eventually take her life.

Houston's childhood on the surface seems like a perfectly fine and loving one. Nicknamed 'Nippy' by her family, she was raised in urban New Jersey in a big and musically gifted family. Her mother was R&B singer Cissy Houston and her cousin was Dionne Warwick. Along with being an avid churchgoer and talented choir singer- it seems almost like a blueprint for fame. However, as the lid gets gradually lifted it reveals a very troubled family. Her parents divorced amidst multiple affairs on both sides. One of her siblings hints at sexual abuse by a female relative and both her brother Gary and Michael openly confess to providing their sister with her first experience of drugs. Her father John also comes across negatively and appears as a puppetmaster type figure more interested in his daughter's earnings than her own wellbeing. Then we come to the notorious and often blamed husband Bobby Brown. A big star upon their first meeting and then super quick marriage, his jealousy at his descent and her rise in fame seemed to spark a furious internal rage. Soon he becomes more her enabler and dealer than loving, supportive figure. Whitney's dedication to their increasingly ridiculed and disastrous marriage is genuinely heartbreaking.

Her starring role in the 'The Bodyguard' along with her monstrously successful song 'I Will Always Love You' pushed her 'into the stratosphere'. It was also when the cracks start to appear in her once perfect image. Her family at this point all seemed to be along for the ride and combined they would push her towards her tragic demise. There is a heavy sense of denial on all sides throughout Whitney and it appears no-one thought to register or notice the demons on display. Even Arista head honcho Antonia 'LA' Reid denies all knowledge.  MacDonald shows us a star slowly breaking apart in the slowest and saddest way possible. Soon Houston beings missing shows and when stories of her drug addiction surface, no amount of damage control can save her. Her inebriated interview with Diane Sawyer was particularly harmful. Daughter Bobbi Cristina Brown was the one who took the brunt of the fallout during this time. Neglected by both her parents, any of the talking heads concede that this young lady never stood a chance (Bobbi Cristina would die less than a year after her mother).

The decline of her once powerful voice robs Houston of her sense of purpose and seeing clips from her shambolic final tour are cringing. There was only one way this kind of downward trajectory could end and MacDonald gives it to us in the most crushing way possible. During the movie's opening sequence, we get a glimpse of what is to come. In an interview, Houston talks about a recurring dream where she is being chased "When I wake, I'm always exhausted." This quote alone will set the tone of a woman who was always running from her demons but never able to confront them.

Whitney is a movie that reminds us of what a huge talent has been lost to the world. Kevin MacDonald takes a well-known figure and presents her in a light that was never thought possible. One of the strongest documentaries 2018 will offer.

Little Big Man: Review of Ant-Man And The Wasp

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Director: Peyton Reed

By Alex Watson

Set right before Infinity War, Ant-Man And The Wasp is a Marvel movie that deals with family affairs than global destruction. While it might not be as strong as the first outing, there is still fun to be had with this tiny crusader. The sheer charm of Paul Rudd easily elevates this picture and we often forget what a good everyman character Scott Lang really is. However, a slightly flat story lets down what could have been an impressive sequel.

Two years after aiding Captain America, Scott Lang is under house arrest. Attempting to live a normal life with his daughter while also running a security business with friend Luis (Michael Pena). After a strange occurrence, Scott finds himself thrust back into lives of Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and Hope (Evangeline Lilly) once more. Things are then complicated by the arrival of a vengeful stranger Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) who seems to have a serious vendetta against Pym.

Ant-Man And The Wasp is a picture that has a good carefree feel to it. Director Peyton Reed once again lets this picture feel most at home during any number of creative action set pieces. The real problem comes from the story's motivation and the lack of a main villain doesn't set up any crucial showdown. We first see Scott living his bored slacker lifestyle and just counting the days until he can remove his ankle monitor. His speed drumming and home adventures with his daughter does make this picture have a breezy feel early on. After his trip to the Quantum Realm, Hank has taken a leaf out of his comrade's book and along with Hope they have developed a Quantum Tunnel to attempt reaching his long-lost wife Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer). To achieve success, they inevitably need Scott's help. This reunion is a far from happy one as the duo are still upset at Scott for going rogue two days prior.

As a character, Ghost that feels drastically underwritten- as we learn her backstory, her intentions are perfectly understandable. But we never get a true chance to get to know her as spends 90 per cent of her time doing kicks and running through walls. There are also a number of side characters who feel like last-minute additions. We all love Laurence Fishburne but as Bill Foster- Hank Pym's old nemesis he feels completely wasted. Likewise with Walton Goggins- who always make the perfect movie asshole! His southern snake Sonny Burch is a calculating and potentially slippery villain who unfortunately is given precious little to do outside of being a dick. The relationship and banter between Scott, Hank and Hope are really what makes this picture sparkle. Now treated as an outsider, Scott has to win back the trust of his former friends. Hank throughout wins verbal duals by sounding almost like a perturbed father scolding his kid.

Thankfully, the fun element of Ant-Man And The Wasp does not disappoint. An exciting car chase throughout San Fransisco is the high point as cars shrinking, biggen and crash all in good measure. Plus we get a gigantic Hello Kitty Pez dispenser flying through the air- although Thomas is still the clear pop culture winner. Part of the joy of this movie is how they balance the various shrinking gimmicks- such as Hank's building that can be shrunken to the size of a suitcase. This is by far the most enjoyable Marvel character so far because Scott is just a man who wants to make things right. The Wasp by far has the most enjoyable onscreen and finally allowed to let loose by flying, blasting and fisticuffs- she narrowly outranks our hero in terms of ability.

Paul Rudd is again the beating heart of the Ant-Man franchise and few heroes are as identifiable as him. Making full use of this heroes lovable loser persona, Scott is once more on the backfoot in life. You have to feel that in any other hands but Rudd's there would be far less heart shown onscreen. Evangeline Lilly gives the picture its tough feel and as Hope she once more a woman afraid to trust our hero. In the more tender moments, Lilly is also unafraid to show the more vulnerable side to this character which gives it a surprisingly deep feel. Michael Douglas is again champ of the supporting honours and his Hank Pym is a dry-humoured yet constantly quick thinking leader. Hannah John-Kamen was an interesting choice for Ghost but doesn't get near enough material to make an impact.

Compared to the more heavyweight Marvel outings this one might not be in that division. But in terms of light entertainment, this be just the right size.

Lock Up: Review of A Prayer Before Dawn

A Prayer Before Dawn

Director: Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire

By Alex Watson

A daunting, often horrifying yet utterly uplifting experience- director Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire has created something very unique. A Prayer Before Dawn brings the gutsy and unrelenting prison horror of movies such as David MacKenzie's 'Starred Up' and Alan Parker's 'Midnight Express'. The story of an English abroad has a fresh and disturbing twist put on it and with a bold turn by Peaky Blinders star, Joe Cole this is one of the stand out movies of 2018!

Billy Moore (Joe Cole) is a young and destructive British ex-pat living in Thailand. When he is jailed on weapons charges he is thrown into the squalid hell hole 'The Bangkok Hilton'. Living in deplorable conditions and under continuous threat of rape and violence and ostracized by the population, Billy struggles to keep his head. However, he soon learns to channel his aggression by embrace Muay Thai boxing and soon he begins to become respected. This sport might be his only chance at finding redemption, but is he worthy of glory?

Director Sauvaire refuses to let his audience off easily and some of the visuals Billy has to endure are terrifying. Early on we see him forced at knifepoint to witness a brutal gang rape where a gang shows their dominance over him. There is a complete lack of subtitles throughout this picture which goes some way to showing the isolation and confusion that Billy experiences. This young man is like a ferocious bulldog who is forever getting into scraps and combined with a crippling drug addiction it feels like a matter of time before he pisses the wrong guy off. Left to rot in deplorable conditions, you can also smell the urine, sweat and vomit that coat the floors of the prison. This is part of the genius of Sauvaire's direction because he drags us into the same space as Billy and we feel unable to escape.

There is little dialogue throughout this picture, but the repressed emotion and rising tension speak loudest of all. Billy is a young guy unable to express himself and the victim of continuous corruption inside the jail. Forced to beat inmates for a hit of 'Ya Ba' (crystal meth) and continuously tortured both mentally and physically by guards and inmates alike, only hope is to join the prison boxing team. The physicality of these sequences is where A Prayer Before Dawn comes alive. The handheld photography of David Ungaro brings the audience up close whenever our hero takes to the ring. The sound of pounding fists, the splatter of blood and the thump of bodies hitting the floor are amplified for maximum effect. By the climax, we feel almost dizzy and nauseated as Billy emerges bruised and bloodied.

A Prayer Before Dawn is a picture about how redemption can be found in the most unlikely of places. Billy is like a volcano that is on the verge of erupting, but in the ring, he finds a sense of purpose and acceptance from fellow inmates. His budding relationships with the boxing team gives a humanity to proceedings and the non-professional actors including Olympic gold-winning Thai boxer, Somrak Kamsing are excellent. Has Billy done enough to be worthy of freedom? Sauvaire leaves this open for debate, he does show a genuine goodness to this man and his hard desire to be redeemed.

Joe Cole has been making headway on the big screen with outings in pictures like 'Thank You For Your Service', but this picture solidifies his status as a rising star. As Scouser Billy, Cole is like a ticking time bomb and there is a barely concealed sense of fear and anger bubbling away. Cole's performance is so intense that it demands your attention and he puts both himself and the audience through the emotional wringer. His talent on Peaky Blinders has come full circle and Hollywood needs to come calling. Also look out for a cameo from 'Only God Forgives' star Vithaya Pansringarm as the prison warden.

A Prayer Before Dawn is a tough movie to sell and those who do watch will be scarred and inspired in equal measure.

We're No Angels: Review of First Reformed

First Reformed

Director: Paul Schrader

By Alex Watson

Very few men are able to tap into the dark subconscious of a man like Paul Schrader. His most recent effort First Reformed goes the core of a man riddled with doubts. Like Taxi Driver if Travis Bickle donned religious cloth, the very question of our existence and whether humanity is worthy of redemption surround this movie. Anchored by a stand-out turn from Ethan Hawke, this is a movie that deserves academy consideration.

Father Ernst Toller (Ethan Hawke) is a priest at the run-down Dutch First Reformed church which is soon to celebrate its 250th anniversary. Suffering from cancer and riddled with self-doubt, Toller is a solitary figure who is questioning the faith he used to believe in. Parishioner Mary (Amanda Seyfried) asks him to counsel her activist husband Michael (Philip Ettinger). Soon after, Toller begins to descend into a spiral which could make not just himself fall apart.

Filmed against a stark and wintery upstate New York, First Reformed is a movie which demonstrates the decay of society and how its foundation is crumbling. Often in Schrader's movie, we see imagery of rusted buildings and toxic waste dumps. The intent is clear, the world is being ruined by industrialists and if money talks, it will happen. Toller is a man who frequently expresses his doubts in voiceover. Often sat in dimly lit rooms drinking a glass of whiskey, it becomes clear that he has strayed from the path sometime previously. Still haunted by the death of his son which he may have inadvertently caused, Toller is a man who wonders whether God can forgive the human race. His meeting with the radical Michael seems to set off a dangerous spark within him. Michael believes that his pregnant wife shouldn't bring a child into 'such a fucked up world'.

His stand-off against Pastor Jeffers (an excellent Cedric The Entertainer), the leader of the bigger and more influential church Abundant Life is often pulsating. His church is ridiculed as a 'Souvenir Shop' despite being an important historical landmark. His disgust at their celebration being funded by a major pharmaceutical corporation is plain as day and Jeffers simply wants him to keep quiet. As the tension builds, we see Toller sulking the night like a wolf and the narration gives a window into the soul of a man on the verge of something unclear. The pumping electronic score by Lustmond fills the atmosphere with a dark sense of dread. Frequently Schrader drags his audience to the depths of despair and like our protagonist we are filled with anguish.

Toller is a man taking a one-person stand against society. Frequently he pushes away any sense of comfort- his vicious verbal attack on the kind Esther (Victoria Hill) who has feelings for him is particularly savage. Mary seems to embody the purity of humanity that he feels has been lost to the world. As First Reformed develops, so does the pair's chemistry. While Schrader excellently builds the suspense to stifling levels, the ending is more abrupt than some may expect. While there is a glorious yet baffling sequence set against the hymn 'Leaning on Everlasting Arms' it feels almost deflating after such a chest-tightening ride.

Already one of Hollywood's most underrated leading men- Ethan Hawke gives a career best as the conflicted Toller. Bringing everyone into his conscience and plagued with illness and doubts, Hawke's face frequently tells the whole story. This is the role that he was born to play and Hawke is a powerful force whenever he is on screen and does a masterful job of showing the strain of keeping up appearances. Amanda Seyfried also makes for solid support, but its Cedric the Entertainer (credited here as Cedric Kyles) who makes the most impression. Jeffers is a man who puts the face of the church above morals and Kyles makes for an excellent sparring partner for Hawke.

First Reformed is a welcome to return to cinema for Paul Schrader and shows there are few filmmakers who can show the plight of society better than him.

Dino's vs The Volcano: Review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Director: J.A Bayona

By Alex Watson

Despite some fine visual touches and some solid direction from J.A Bayona- Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom fails to live up to expectations. Saddled with a dull script and lack of narrative, this picture fails to advance what seemed like a promising reboot franchise. It provides plenty of thrills, but a sequel cannot succeed just on this element alone.

Years on from the disastrous failure of Jurassic World, Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) has become a dinosaur activist. Isla Nubar is threatened with an eruption from an active volcano which could potentially wipe out dino life on earth once more. Eli Mills (Rafe Spall) proposes that Claire lead a rescue attempt for these creatures which includes recruiting disillusioned former Raptor trainer Owen Grady (Chris Pratt). However, Mills seems to take a particular interest in saving notorious female Raptor, Blue...

J.A Bayona does bring some delicate touches to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, in particular, his Spielberg-like beginning where an underwater salvage mission soon results in a T-Rex attack. These types of moments are fine and give some small rays of sunshine. Then we come to the central plot which manages to gloss all events over the last three years. The corporation has paid out over $800 million in lawsuits and Owen and Claire had a failed attempt to at romance. From the moment Mills and his benefactor Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell) pitch their rescue mission- it is obvious something sinister is at play. Sadly, this soon gives way to a half-baked story about the corporation wanting to weaponize dinosaurs. Well, of course, they do!

What could have been an engaging story of against the clock survival is instead swept by in a matter of minutes. Bayona makes the volcanic eruption a spectacular thing and watching a Brontosaurus essentially left for dead in a cloud of volcanic smoke is gut-wrenching. Had the script stuck this type of affair it would have raised the stakes, instead, we get yet another dull formulaic story of corporate evils looking to profit off dinosaurs. Another key issue is the supporting characters, outside of the engaging Grady and Dearing, their co-stars are reduced to being the whiny nerdy guy (Justice Smith) and the tough-talking scientist (Danielle Pineda). Though veteran Ted Levine does have some fine moments as the villain Colonel Wheatley. The side story of Jurassic World most memorable dino Blue is also good- this is one Raptor that is a must-have for the corporation and throughout she gives this picture a little more soul and smarts.

The third act of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom does at least have some commendable thrills to make up for the lack of story. Set within the confines of the Lockwood mansion, it is very much a run and hide affair. One of the key surprises comes from a new hybrid dinosaur that Ingen has cooked up. This alone sends a few shivers down the spine as it runs amock. Bayona manages recreates the cold and creepy feeling that his breakout film 'The Orphanage' provided. While we are let down by an overly sentimental ending and a frankly awful mini twist, we least get some value for money during the home stretch.

Chris Pratt shows how he is fast becoming the main man for Hollywood franchises. Owen Grady is a character more complex than he first appears- his connection to Blue is one that gives this character a needed emotional depth. Pratt also makes good use of his trademark easy charm to win over his audience. Bryce Dallas Howard makes sure she wears more appropriate footwear for this outing. Although Claire Dearing suffers from a lack of development, Howard finds a way to rise above this and give a convincing performance. It is also great to see the return of Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, his appearance may be small but his character has lost none of its appeal or wit.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a big missed opportunity for this franchise. Hopefully the return of Colin Trevorrow for the third outing with steady the ship.

A Head Full of Dreams: Review of The Mercy

The Mercy

Director: James Marsh

By Alex Watson

While this is perhaps a more restrained effort than expected, James Marsh does an excellent job of showing the plight of sailor Donald Crowhurst. The Mercy show demonstrates that the of dreams is very much the subject matter here and thanks to a wonderful measured turn by Colin Firth, we see first hand how sometimes risks do not pay off. The open oceans are the real villain of this piece and Marsh shows us that when facing nature- man is always powerless.

Donald Crowhurst (Colin Firth) is a struggling businessman and sailing enthusiast. Desperate to keep his failing business afloat, Crowhurst decides an around the world race to win a 5000 cash prize. Hopelessly inexperienced and sailing a boat seemingly doomed for failure, Donald still pushes on. When finally out in the ocean, he soon realizes he either faces ruin by turning back or certain death by continuing. Keen not to face oblivion, Crowhurst decides to make fake entries in his log book to hide his failure. 

The Mercy is a movie that puts both its audience and its main star through the emotional wringer. Early on, we realize that Crowhurst is a man of big dreams, but thinking big doesn't always equal success. His loving and devoted wife Clare (Rachel Weisz) clearly dreads the prospect of her husband sailing away into the unknown. Woefully underprepared, Crowhurst is more or less a weekend sailor taking the biggest risk of his life. Seeing an opportunity, sneaky publicist Rodney Hallworth (David Thewlis) comes forward and begins promoting Crowhurst's race as the ultimate underdog story. In reality, it is little more than a suicide mission and this man is a lot of more than bragging rights at stake. In the early stages, Marsh does an excellent job of mixing a bright optimistic outlook with a sense of swirling gloom overhead.

When this picture finally embarks on its open water voyage, it doesn't take long for the audience to realize that Crowhurst is in way over his head. His boat quickly falls apart and he appears set for certain failure. When he decides to fake his log book positions, he turns from being a plucky underdog to a forward-thinking survivor. His boat will not stay together in the condition it is in, but he also has to be careful. He cannot win the race but he also cannot come higher than last as it will arouse suspicion. While at sea, there is perhaps too much restraint and while Marsh does a fine job of conveying the sense of fear and desperation by Crowhurst, we don't feel the mania and isolation that would eventually result in his downfall. Simon Rumney's upcoming biopic 'Crowhurst' reportedly has this in spades. His pride is shown as the real driving force and having signed over everything to sponsor Stanley Best (Ken Stott), he has little option.

Few will be prepared for the devastating blow that The Mercy delivers in its final act. Throughout this picture we see Crowhurst keen to protect his family from embarrassment. His phone calls to them through Marsh's film have a resounding emotion to them. We can almost feel the shame radiating off our hero as he hears the pride in their voice. In reality, our hero is a man pushed into a dangerous situation simply to prove his worth. The context in which we should view Crowhurst as the victim is debatable and many different adaptations have put their own unique spin on things. This one is a lot more simple and paints the picture of a man just wanting his family to survive.

Colin Firth delivers a performance that is up there with some of his best. During the movie's key points he wonderful underplays the mania which Donald Crowhurst apparently descended into. He still maintains his typical stiff upper lip but he does a fine job of showing the continuous emotions washing across his face. Rachel Weisz is also strong despite limited screen time. Playing a wife who knows her husband may not make the trip, but is determined to support him anyhow, Weisz, as usual, is remarkable.

The Mercy is a movie which shows to devastating effect how even the best intentions can lead us down the wrong roads.

Someone in the Dark: Review of Hereditary

Hereditary

Director: Ari Aster

By Alex Watson

Every once in a while there comes a horror movie that is truly game-changing. In 2018, that movie Hereditary by first-time director Ari Aster. Coming across as a psychedelic mixture of  Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now and Polanski's Rosemary's Baby, Aster has created a rare beast. Throughout this picture is mind-jarring but also incredibly slick and clever too. Those of you who dare to see this will be processing what you have seen for days to come.

After the death of her estranged and troubled mother, miniature artist Annie Graham (Toni Collette) is trying to pick up the pieces. Soon after, she begins noticing some odd changes in her family, particularly with her daughter Charlie (Milly Shapiro) and her son Peter (Alex Wolff). After some other life-altering events, it becomes clear that something sinister is at play and that her mother's private life might have been something quite unholy.

Those of you looking for a formulaic horror movie with plenty of jump scares should look elsewhere. Hereditary is a much a smarter type of scary because Aster leaves it open his audience about how they want to be scared. This picture could have multiple meanings to decipher- is a commentary on mental illness? Is it a supernatural horror? Or is this a compelling look at the effects of grief? Part of the genius of this film is that Aster leaves things wide open. Annie is a woman picking up the pieces from a mother she excommunicated long before. When she tells the funeral gatherers that her mother was a private person with 'private rituals and private friends' we can sense immediately that something ungodly is lurking close by. What is so clever about Aster's film is how he dangles horror right before you, yet you don't notice it immediately. In some scene, we see Annie finishing up in her art studio and in the background you what appears to be a silhouette of her dead mother. You will notice it, your friend will jump but the reality only creeps in when you least expect it.

Aster never once gives his audience a break from the horrors and throughout he maintains a steady flow of unease. Each moment has something troubling close by, even in places where the characters should be safe. During scenes in the dark, our eyes will immediately scan the room and Aster does a great job of playing mind tricks on his audience.  There is also the notion of who exactly Annie can trust? Her husband Steven (Gabriel Byrne) is becoming progressively more concerned with her behaviour. Then along comes the amiable Joan (Ann Dowd) a seemingly friendly and sympathetic fellow grief sufferer. However, in Aster's world, she is immediately suspect and her intentions at first seem pleasant but why does she view Annie as a kindred spirit? The Graham family themselves are also not far from suspicion and as early on we learn that Annie's family has a history of severe mental illness. There are also some 'troubling' reveals about her history of sleepwalking too.

The impressive pulsing score by Colin Stetson is one of the key elements that make Hereditary such a unique experience. Literally sounding like doom itself, this sound makes you squirm uncomfortably. Aster along with DP  Pawel Pogorzelski do a resounding job of making the picture look the part. Little touches such as long swooping takes through the Graham household, to see a tree house lit by burning red lights give this movie its sickening horror. There is also the introduction of many of typical Hollywood horror staples late on. Demonic symbols are drawn, cults are introduced and we see a couple of very unsettling seances. Overall, Aster is very creative in finding ways to make sure his viewers need their hearts jumpstarted after the film's climax. There will be burning questions you need immediate answers to- sadly this will only be solved with time and multiple viewings.

Toni Collette gives a performance that is definitely the best of her career. Annie is a woman who is having problems thrown at her left, right and centre. Collette does a masterful job of showing a woman who is collapsing under the weight of this horrific activity. Frequently she is put to task during the pictures more emotional content, but Collette is more than equal to the challenge. Milly Shapiro is also a compelling supporting presence as the afflicted and social awkward Charlie. Through this performance is able to elicit both dread and sympathy in equal measure. A bizarre and strange looking child, Charlie is a young girl with some strange habits. Alex Wolff is also commendable as the pot smoking teen Peter. A young man on the precipice of adulthood, Wolff shows us a child who is also drowning under the weight of the emotional turmoil that Aster's movie summons up.

Hereditary is a movie that you will be discussing and obsessing over for some time after seeing it. Fair warning though, you may not be the same after viewing it!